Truly a lot better than your worst thoughts.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

The Llama Rider...

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After a couple of days off, I should be catching up with all your wonderful posts… But a man is a man… And a man must face his responsibilities…
Double tagged as I find myself in this moment of my blogging existence, I am long overdue for a reply to the “If I could…” list I got involved into by our lovely Peanut Queen and our lively DBdoberman…
General rules are, I quote DB, “From the list of occupations below, select five (5), and write a post on your blog, on how you would perform each, if they were your job. When you are done, add a couple of occupations to the bottom, and ambush five other fellow bloggers to prepare a list”
I subscribe too to another condition DB has added, which I completely agree with: “IF you have already participated, and want out of doing it again, it is up to you find somebody to pass it off to, and it CANNOT be me, not ever again! “… This repeated by me now means you cannot send this back to me, but it certainly does not imply that if you feel like you can go on now and hit DB once again with this wonderful list (he, he, he)…
I choose as follows,

1) If I were… a Llama Rider… Well, if you saw the pic at the beginning of this post, you pretty much get an idea of what I think… Yes, I would fit my llama with a customized leather jacket, red-yellow blazes painted on the sides, I’d buy her a pack of Marlboro and we would hit the road… The wind hitting our faces while speeding up other fellow hell’s angels with a grin on our faces; the sun always unreachable on the distant horizon; the sweat of our leather jackets running in floods by our bodies; the dumps of my llama lining up behind our backs as a proof of those places we once came from and we might never, ever, see again… We’d pick up plenty of fights and beautiful girls (ocasionally I’d pass my llama through a car-wash service, just to make sure the “beautiful girls” don’t get scared by my llama’s funny smells… My llama would probably try to do the same with me, I guess…)… When in fights, I’d have nothing to fear, for I will know my beast is loyal and whoever thinks a llama is furry, stupid animal, is somehow mistaken… Llamas can kick back as hard as any horse and, on top of that, they can throw hard spit balls with a precision that a sniper would have nothing to envy to (believe me, I’ve been a target of their aim!)… You might think all of this is ridiculous, but it’s not the first time the thought of being a Llama Rider has crossed my head… “Riders on the storm, riders on the storm… Into this world we’re born, into this world we are thrown”… Coming from the desert and the harsh hights of Los Andes, a llama is certainly one of the beasts who knows all about this.
2) If I were… a homeless person… Believe it or not, this one is one I’ve always felt like experiencing and do not feel very anguished by the thought… As a matter of fact, when I was like 4 years old, coming to visit us, my grandma once found me under a bridge close to our house, where I was sitting with a cloth bag tied to a stick, just like a runaway… Of course, she almost panicked when she saw me there… But she always reminds me that I didn’t look the least worried… Ocasionally, I must confess I still feel like hitting the road (no llama this time, he, he…)… And my girlfriend’s sister is almost convinced too I must have been a bump in a previous life due to some particular traits of my character like: I love sleeping on the floor (which I do not do as much as I’d like to, because my girlfriend prefers we use a matress); I could go on and on for days just feeding on bread and water; I love walking LONG distances; I can fall asleep anywhere, no matter the noise; I feel no attachment to material things; I work and earn my living, but I couldn’t care less about money or the lack of it; for me, life is just as beautiful whether you look up or whether you look down; I do not feel the least attracted by many of the so-called “comforts” of life; I’m not the least nostalgic; I don’t give a shit about social classes… Often I think the hardest part about leaving home would be how could you say that to your loved ones without breaking their hearts.
3) If I were… An astronaut… Ok, if I had the chance to get shuttled up all the way up to the stars, I’d love to set my foot on the moon and paint a mega-giant-size mural-like painting that could be seen from any place on earth… it wouldn’t even have to be my own creation… Imagine the moon with a huge Monalisa on one side and Van Gogh’s sunflowers on the other, for example (we could even drag an international voting process to select the masterpiece)… I’d just love to be there and be part of the painters… It’d probably take a long time, but it’s not like I can contribute much to any investigation taking place on the universe, so I might as well just spend all my time painting.
4) If I were… A woman for one day… This is easy. If a woman, I’d be the “femmest” of all femme-fatal ladies… I’ve always thought women have all that’s needed to turn any guy crazy, but many of them just don’t let themselves go as far as they could go and enjoy the fact of “having the force” with them… Of course, I mean femme-fatal in the classy, elegant, dark-dressed, cold blooded kind… I would make men drool and kiss my feet… And by the end of the day, probably I’d wanna be a woman for another day…
5) If I were… a Chef…. Ummm, I got this one sort of thought out already, so basically I’ll be detailing another one of my stupid plans… If I were a Chef, I’d use my prestige and abilities to set up a chain of LOW STANDING restaurants… ??? … What do I mean… I mean I’d make the greatest food on earth at the cheapest prices… Just the contrary of High Standing places… Reason for this, to enjoy food and just to show people what wonderful creations they could try for a reasonable amount and how they usually get cheated and awfully robbed when attending most of the “trendy” and exclusive joints in town.

I’m not sure whom could I tag, or if I can tag five bloggers, who have not done this already, and who could be willing to do it now (my links list is not that long yet…he, he)
Well, for the time being, this are the tagged bloggers:
- Happyandblue2
- Extraordinary Woman in a Mediocre Life (if you happen to be back to blogging)
If I make up my mind about anyone else, I’ll let you know ASAP.

If I could be a scientist...
If I could be a musician...
If I could be a doctor...
If I could be a painter...
If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a missionary...
If I could be a chef...
If I could be an architect...
If I could be a linguist...
If I could be a psychologist...
If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete...
If I could be a lawyer...
If I could be an innkeeper...
If I could be a professor...
If I could be a writer...
If I could be a llama-rider...(by Ogre)
If I could be a bonnie pirate...(By Teach)
If I could be a service member...(By Jeremy)
If I could be a business owner...(By Blue 944)
If I could be an actor... (By Blue 944)
If I could be an agent...(By KelBel)
If I could be video game designer...(By KelBel)
If I could be a comic book artist...(By Stoli)
If I could be a hooker...(By Pollo Loco)
If I could be a crack addict (by Elizabeth)
If I could be a porn star (by Elizabeth)
If I could be a mime (by Garrison)
If I could be a domestic engineer (by Rick)
If I could be a chimney sweep (by laine)
If I could be a masseuse (by laine)
If I could be a taxi driver (by Brian)
If I could be a priest (by Brian)
If I could be a fighter pilot (by Sara)
If I could be a homeless person (by Sara)
If I could be a biker (by Walker)
If I could be a mortician (by Walker)
If I could be a marine biologist (by DB)
If I could be a garbageman (by DB)
If I could be a rich girl...
If I could be a witch...
If I could be a racer...
If I could be an agent...
If I could be video game designer...
If I could be a comic book artist...
If I could be a hooker...
If I could be a homeless person...
If I could be an astronaut...
If I could be a child again...
If I could be invincible...
If I could be a superhero...
If I could be a man/woman for the day...
If I could be a legendary fantasy figure or warrior...
If I could be a vampire...
If I could be an animal...
If I could be a radio talk show host...
If I could be a successful inventor...

If I could be a moviemaker…
If I could be a miner…
If I could be a hunter…

Friday, May 20, 2005


"girl, you really got me now...
Image hosted by Photobucket.comyou got me so... I don't know where I'm going..."

feeling in a Van Halen mood...
share with ya' another quick Paint masterpiece
(if anyone knows anyone involved in cheap software deals, please get me a decent drawing software and I'll send you my savings)

I feel a cool weekend approachin',
enjoy it everyone!

Thursday, May 19, 2005

More blue thoughts...

Task forces at work...
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I appreciate your efforts and suggestions in answering my last post doubts...

However, I've come to realize that if an international emergency were declared at any moment, let's say 'cause a bunch of wicked aliens has landed on our planet and unexpectedly poisoned all of our food, with the single exception of the blue food, which being so scarce they didn't even bother to look at, well... as I was saying, if en emergency were declared on these premises, probably there wouldn't be enough blue food to feed us all and people, as people usually do on these situations, would just start running in a state of complete havoc, desperately trying to get their hands on some damn blueberries to survive until better times once again enlighten our destinies...

This being the dark forecast, I've send my task forces to start bluberries recollection in anticipation of future catastrophes...

Needless to say, I'll share some of them with you, dear fellow bloggers, in case the need shall arise...

However I would urge to keep this prediction in utmost secrete... This being the only warranty for the safety of this incredible plan and, of course, of our future survival...

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Blue thoughts

You've probably been thinking a lot lately... One thing about thinking is that, whether we want it or not, we'll always end up doing it anyway... You've probably been thinking about your life, the weather, what to do on saturday morning, how awfully short is a weekend, that great place you are gonna go for dinner tonight, that cool girl/boy you are dating with, the things you avoided doing on friday the 13th, the food you need to buy for your dog, cat or zebra, hunger in the world, the state of things in Uzbekistan, how beautiful spring is, the things you never learn, etc, etc, etc... You've probably been thinking about all the things in the world... But I'm sure there is one thing you have not been thinking of... and which I've been wondering about almost for a whole day, without yet coming to an answer... So, I'll share this with you, and I you feel so, I'll gladly accept feedback on the matter...
It's not a brain eating dillema, but it's not that easy to answer either, I think:
?Is there any sort of food which is ORIGINALLY blue?
I mean, I can't pic any sort of meat, veggies, natural beverages or even fruit (crazy coloured in every combination almost) which are ORIGINALLY BLUE... I mean no dyes or colorants... 100% absolutely, originally PLAIN NORMAL BLUE...
I can't think of any... And I'm starting to get worried about it. How could nature/god/whover/however creation started like could forget this???? I don't know, but it gives a bad feeling.

Thursday, May 12, 2005


Don't you ever feel...
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like a beast stomping on the flowers????

Just a thought...


Thursday, May 05, 2005

100 detalles del Sr.G...

Sorry, sorry... I've had loads of work... and not much time for blogging....
I hope this post makes it up for this past week's lack of words,

100 Detalles Sobre la Vida del Sr.G
(db... you are in charge of translations from now on, he, he...)

1. I was born in Santiago, Chile.

2. I grew up in an industrial neighbourhood (plenty of
factories and good moments, in my opinion, though most
people tend to think it must have been depressive as a Ken
Loach´s film)

3. I have two brothers. One a year older. The other 14 years younger.

4. I get pretty well with both of them, despite being all completely different (my older bro is the serious married type, my younger bro is the reflexive, sensible kind and I’m the sociable black sheep of the family).

5. When I was 14, my mom was sent to work to the US. I
finished high-school there and I have spent close to six-
years of my life living around the New York area, adding up
different times of my life.

6. I have been living in Barcelona for a bit over a
decade now.

7. While in Santiago and in The States, I used to go
everywhere in my bike. (Luckily in The States I always
lived in nice, little towns, but Santiago is a 5 million
people city, with a crazy traffic, and riding a bike there
was a hell of an adventure)

8. I spent all of my education (from primary school
until the end of the university years) drawing on my
notebooks, while absently minded paying attention to my

9. Most of my teachers thought I would pursue a career
in Art or as a cartoonist.

10. I love drawing, but I’ve never loved the idea of
making a career out of it.

11. Though I didn’t pay much attention at school, I was not a bad student.

12. I ended up studying for and becoming a journalist.

13. After a few years working as journalists, in
Chile, my girlfriend and I got a bit bored of living there
and decided it was about time to leave the country and see
the world.

14. We left everything we had there and bought a ticket
for New York. (I don’t think we’ll ever regret taking such a decision).

15. Our life would probably be way easier and more
financially stable if we packed our things and moved back
to South America.

16. Luckily, we can accept money is important, but it´s
not what moves our hearts.

17. In the next couple of years, we would love to move
to Berlin. Other possibilities: Marselle, Amsterdam, London
or Paris.

18. Personally, I would love to live in Istambul too.

19. The first job I took when I got to Spain was as a street salesman.

20. The most interesting job I’ve had in this last 10 years was as a store manager for an easyInternet shop located in the heart of Barcelona. (I met literally hundreds of people and most of the crooks and thieves from the downtown area)

21. Irrational as it might sound, I have enjoyed every single work experience in my life.

22. I currently work for a hotel chain and a cruise port side & shore services company.

23. I love working with MASSES of people.

24. I enjoy dealing with conflict.

25. The first girl I had a crush at was the prettiest girl of my class (I was 10 years old at that time).

26. Once I had to stay late in school waiting for my parents to come out of a Parents & Teachers meeting. She had to wait for her parents too. Suddenly she grabbed my hand and told me to go take a walk around the school. It was only a one evening thing, but I have never forgotten that wonderful moment.

27. My first wet dream was with a young Sofia Loren (boy, that was a blessing, really!!)

28. I begged for that dream to repeat several times, but with no success.

29. I have never had any dream twice, BTW.

30. It’s not often that I remember my dreams or that I have nightmares either.

31. I have killed my mother seven times in my dreams, though. Bizarre, isn’t it?. I love my mom and we have a great relation.

32. I don’t think I’ve ever killed my father or any other relative, anyway.

33. My first sexual experience was in a funeral services house (not on a coffin though).

34. After 31, 32 and 33 I guess saying I like horror movies doesn’t really sound that impressive.

35. As a kid, I used to think crickets were sort of like vampire bugs that would suck blood out of your neck (I spent many night sleepless because of that)

36. Needles to say I love vampire stories.

37. Sharing a few drinks on a stormy night in Barcelona, our flat lit only with candles, my girlfriend and I dressed all in black and the two only paintings hanging on the wall being Bersley’s Salome’s Beheading and a Vlad Tepes' impalements engraving, a friend visiting our next door neighbour thought WE WERE VAMPIRES and she left the city the next day! (unbelievable, but true).

38. Those two drawings are one my favourites, BTW.

39. I like painting in general, but dutch painters in particular.

40. Leonardo’s John The Baptist is also one of my favourites.

41. As a kid, I was the fattest kid of my class.

42. I was pretty much the same, until the end of my teenage years.
43. At seventeen I was a 5.9 feet high and 230 pounds metal header.

44. If I happened to be carrying a baseball bat, lots of times no one would dare to sit next to me in a bus.

45. All those times I was just carrying that baseball bat because I loved the game (I still do BTW).

46. I’ve never been much into fighting.

47. As a matter of fact, I believe mostly everything can be talked out.

48. I’m patient to an extreme that sometimes can irritate other people.

49. Believe or not, I don’t think I’ve lost my patience more than fives times in MY WHOLE life.

50. Still, I loved seeing the scared look in the eyes of people when they saw me sitting in the bus with my bat.

51. Though I was pretty fat all of my childhood and most of my teenage years, weight has never been a traumatizing thing for me.

52. I still love eating and I’m a great cook.

53. Despite I love trying out recipes, my favourite food is bread.

54. I love milk too.

55. My liver is probably iron coated. I can swallow a whole jar of mayo and I will hardly feel a bit “heavy” afterwards.

56. I can do some pretty heavy drinking too, but I don’t really care for it anymore.

57. My favourite alcohol drink is rhum, BTW.

58. My favourite soda Pepsi Light (I will also prefer normal Pepsi and Diet Coke, instead of a Coke)

59. I love banana flavored milkshakes with real banana and milk.(No ice-cream).

60. I love coffe. My favourite being a ristretto (a dark, thick double coffe charge that drips slowly into your cup).

61. When I say coffe, I mean “real coffe”. Not instant coffe or american type coffe pots (I don’t dislike them, but they simply are not the same).

62. I love teas too.

63. I like animals in general.

64. The first time I returned to Chile (after 7 years had passed) my dog recognized me straight away and the first thing he did was to lie on his back so that I could caress his tummy the way I had always done when we lived together.

65. I left home when I was 19 to go share a flat with my girlfriend (the lovely girl I still live with).

66. Now we have a cat and I love taking long naps with him resting over me.

67. Sometimes my girlfriend interrupts those naps, kicks the cat out of the room, locks the bedroom door and forces me to undress and perform sexual activities (you know how jealous girls can get, ha, ha, ha…)

68. I’m a mess when it comes to keep things tidy at home (the kitchen being the exception), but awfully organized when it comes to my workplace or work activities.

69. With years I’ve learned to appreciate all sort of music, but deep in my heart there will always be a special place for hard rock and heavy metal.

70. Iron Maiden is my favourite heavy band and I almost died in ectasy when I had the chance to see them live, here in Spain. (they never toured close to NY when I was in The States and the only concert they were ever going to have in Chile had to be cancelled because of political pressure of the right-wing and the catholic church)

71. I’m a Beatles nut too.

72. I would have loved to be a rock guitar player.

73. I can play some tunes with the guitar, but I’m FAR from a pro performing level.

74. I’m thinking of buying an electric guitar again, but my girlfriend knows nothing about it yet (keep your mouths shut, plissssss!!!)

75. When I was a 17 years old metal header beast, I once attended a Paco de Lucia concert in this chic elegant theatre, being the only one there with long hair, jeans jacket and not wearing a suit&tie. I had spent all my money to get a ticket right in the middle of the first row, so I got plenty of curious eyes looking my way. The concert was awesome. (Paco de Lucia is the top flamenco guitar player of the world BTW)

76. A bit older, but still a metal header looking beast, and air-hostess thought I was a band player (only God knows which one!!!) and she kept smiling to me and refilling my glass with various sorts of spirits throughout a whole flight.

77. If I had the money, I would have a collection of electric guitars and bicycles.

78. I hate buying clothes.

79. I love listening CD’s at stores, but I prefer to download music from the web.

80. I like to collect vinyl LP’s too.

81. If you promised to keep this one secret, I’ll confess to you I love Cher’s Do you believe in live after love.

82. Add this to the fact that one of the first tapes I bought as a kid was a Village People’s recording and the “gay” alarms might jump off (ha, ha, ha…)

83. Nope, I’m not gay (at least until now, he, he)… But I don’t think I would mind if I were… I believe relations can be anyway and not necessarily have to be built by two people of different sex.

84. I’m very, very open minded BTW.

85. And not a bit jealous.

86. If my girlfriend decided to have a sex affair with someone (man or woman, for all it matters), it’s not something I would hold against her.

87. I would be hurt though if she decided to hide this from me.

88. If she decided to give details, fine. If not, fine too. I hate sticking my nose into other people’s business.

89. I’m awfully reserved in terms of personal issues and a tomb when it comes to keep a secret.

90. Watching TV sitcoms I have learned several kitchen tricks, like:

91. Breaking an egg with a single hand,

92. Opening any tightly closed jar’s lid with four hits of the bottom part of a knife

93. Flipping pancakes with a single move of the pan.

94. Throw spaghettis to the wall to check if they are ready.

95. Spitting grapes and catching them back with my mouth (well, I’m not sure if this helps cooking at all, but it’s cool anyway).

96. I love All Stars sneakers.

97. I don’t believe in God.

98. I don’t believe in Elvis.

99. I don’t believe in Lennon.

100. I just believe in me. (HA, HA, HA)