Someday you will see

Call me egocentric, if you wish, but I’ve always felt inclined to this particular theory that I am as important to the universe, as the universe it is to me. In other the words, I cannot fully reject the idea that the day death calls me away, the whole world as I’ve known it will also come with me.

I don’t say this to scare you, in case you are the kind concerned about Armageddon, or to stand defiant, in front of those who find themselves attracted to the answers of religions. Far from both of these ideas, I just say it because I feel it. And in feeling this way, I would dare to say I experience the vastness of insignificance and, at the same time, the insignificance of vastness.

And no, I am not religious.
And no, I am not searching for answers.

I am, therefore I am. And that’s all there is to it.

Life is bringing me to this sort of rubber band mood in which I might expand and expand and, even if I break, I know my essence will remain elastic. I if know what I am and I know what I will be, does it make sense to wonder how I should be? Why search the answers for questions which are not necessarily real, in the sense that they might belong to us for all the relevance we lay on them, but do not comply with our true nature? What else, if not our raw self, will remain closest and purest to what we are and, allow me to laugh on this, what we “should” be?

Every day I feel farther away from anything that might define me and, in taking this step, every day that passes I feel closer to myself, because I simply exist.

I exist.
I expand. One day I might explode. That would be fun. (and not as tragic at all as it might sound…)